Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
