After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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