I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
