just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
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