I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
i don't like sucking hair
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
