i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
