She said her name was "party"
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
A+ Viking dick
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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