I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
