i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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