atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
