there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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