i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
