in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
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But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
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Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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