It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
