thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
