Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize