So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
