Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
