Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
