Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
