physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
