I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
