May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
