I got chris browned last night
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
he fucked my hip out of place.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
