where am i from again
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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