Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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