That's when you crack a 10am beer
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I want to fling myself into the sun
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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