Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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