cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
