I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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