i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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