is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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