It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
