Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
