Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
