The best revenge is premature balding
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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