I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
