Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
