I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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