If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I smell like Dick and happiness
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
