Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
