I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
