as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
