dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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