there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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