Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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