Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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