If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
