You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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