i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
