Cold hands, warm shart.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
