he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Sexist Restaurant Owner Tells Woman To ‘Keep Her Legs Open’ After Firing Her
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
19 True Stories So Scary You May Never Turn The Lights Off Again
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.