Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
