can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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