i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Randomize
