Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Randomize
