that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
