bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize