That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
