Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
Duck Duck Cougar?
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
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Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
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Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
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