is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
